Zondag's Post

Today I am not much in the mood for blogging, but it has been a few day since the last time, so I will keep it short and simple.

On Friday we had the opportunity to go the morning market in Amersfoort (just me, mom and the boys). It was fun to do, but apparently it has changed over the years, catering more towards Moroccans and Turkish people as well as tourists. My mother was disappointed by this only because they do not sell as many of the nice curtains that you see hanging in the top of window frames (usually of some sort of lacy pattern or something to that extent). So it goes...

Yesterday the weather was absolutely gorgeous. It was about 28 degrees Celsius (which is a little over 80 degrees Fahrenheit). We took hold of the opportunity and left for the beach early in the morning spending most of the afternoon on the lovely beach while my grandparents stayed on their little camping plot of ground. It was marvelous, however, I did get a bit too sunburned in rather random places, which is most unfortunate. Afterward, we went to a Chinese restaurant for some fine cuisine.

Today we went to church and I took a lovely nap after doing some yoga to work out some of the pain in my lower back. It was quite an uneventful day, but also necessary.

This is a short synopsis of my last couple days. Tomorrow there aren't any plans yet, so the adventure continues on as the days keep moving past. Hope everyone of you are doing well and take care!

Lekker eten!

Canal Tours... Ahoy!

Hallo allemaal!

Last night was my darling mother's birthday. This would be the first birthday she has had in her home country for over 20 years, so yeah, it was a big deal. Virtually all of our immediate family and close friends came over to celebrate. It was a grand ole time. I saw my cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. Lots of food, a delicious cake and many beverages were consumed, but as many of you would concur, a good party consists of nothing less. Anyhow, that's all for yesterday's headline.

Today I had the wonderful opportunity to take a, nay TWO, canal tours of my birth city Amersfoort. Twas an extremely educational experience. For instance, did you know that as a result of the over 100 different forms of plant life growing on the canal, Amersfoort is known to be the greenest city in the Netherlands, and all of Europe. It even won an award for it! *proud tear* I bet you didn't know that. Nor did I, so don't feel too badly.

The most unfortunate thing happened today however. As I turned on my camera, nothing happened. I was, admittedly, perplexed for a moment, when I realized that my battery was quite dead. Bummer. :/ Hopefully tonight, after the battery has charged, I will have a much better photo taking experience tomorrow.

Till then, werk hard and slaap lekker!

Travels

As many of you may know, I am currently in the Netherlands. Hopefully I will be studious in keeping people up to date on the random occurrences which may ensue.

So far, our travels were quite uneventful. I was able to sleep about 6 hours total on the combination of flights, so I am not as wiped out as the rest of my family. I have been blessed with the ability to sleep in virtually any place at any time, if I am tired enough. As the rest of my family is going to bed for the evening (after a 22 hour day), I am still able to semi-coherently type things down on this blog.

Our flight took us from Boise to Salt Lake City to Vancouver to Amsterdam. Needless to say, it was quite lengthy. This is the trade off for saving some money whilst making summer jaunts to Europe. We flew out at 1 pm from Boise on Memorial Day and landed in Amsterdam at 2:30 pm on June 1st. Taking the time exchange into consideration, it adds up to about some number which I cannot compute at the moment. But taking how long we were up before flying out of Boise into consideration, it's well over 24 hours of being awake for the rest of my family.

Anyhow, enough of this boring nonsense for now. I am going to rest a little and then perhaps go to bed. More to follow in the coming days as the adventure before my eyes begins to unfold. Take care everyone!

.blah.

How do I begin to express my feelings, Lord? How much longer?

I don't want my happiness to hinge off of this.

*sigh*

I am at loss for words.

Meteor Shower

I can finally see
That your right there beside me
I am not my own
For I have been made new
Please don't let me go
I desperately need you

I am not my own
For I have been made new
Please don't let me go
I desperately need you

--Owl City

Agonal Breathing

For those of you who are not medical people, this term describes the respiration at the end of life. It is labored breathing characterized by a gasping for air spaced at 3-4 breaths per minute, but is extremely difficult to differentiate from someone who is actually recovering from not breathing. It sounds horrible to see someone go through this and it is.

I had the horrible opportunity to see it at work this past Saturday. A five year old girl passed away, much to the dismay of her father and my fellow coworkers. It was nothing we could've prevented and it was nothing we did wrong. But all the same, it doesn't prevent the painful reminder of life's fragility. This was a young girl whom many of my coworkers had seen playing cheerfully with her father throughout the day. I myself had spoken to her, smiled at her, and watched her enjoy her time. What an unjust tragedy.

Initially I was just frustrated at not knowing how she was doing after she was brought out to the ambulance on a gurney surrounded by EMS and followed by her father. I still don't know how I feel about it, but at the follow-up meetings yesterday, I expressed my slight apprehension to go back to work immediately. The upper staff were more than willing to give me all the time I needed, so I was not supposed to work until Thursday.

Perhaps I was just being silly, but then I confirmed my own suspicions when I did go into work today to cover for an ill coworker. Mostly I spent my time up on the slide, informing patrons when it was ok for them to go down. But then in the last 15 min I decided I would give it a try. The pool was close to closing and there wasn't more than 1 person in the pool I was guarding at a time. As I was sitting there, I began to replay the incident of the Saturday before and began to think of the suffering which this family is going through. Began thinking of father pleading for his child to breathe. Began thinking of my own personal experience of losing a loved one. Perhaps it would be a consolation to her family that she didn't suffer for long, though I imagine the pain stings just as much. Thinking about these things stirred up an unexpected emotional reaction.

However, I also began to think about the hope we have as believers. If I did not have this hope, I am certain that I would be a very bitter person. God is good to us, even if we do not understand what his workings. This can be a painfully difficult thing to remind ourselves, I know it is for me.

"I am not my own, for I have been made new... Never let me go, I desperately need you..."

Ramble, ramble, ramble...

Do you ever feel as though there isn't a person in the world who is worse than yourself? As of late, I am constantly being reminded of my own short-comings and it sort of stinks. There just seems to be an endless number of road blocks that keep me in this place. Being a "good, Reformed" believer, I shouldn't have this problem, right? It's easy to ease my guilt by comparing myself to others. How terribly childish that sounds.

It sucks when you are, in a way, expected to be one way by fellow believers as well as those on the "outside", and only you know of what truly lies in your heart and that it doesn't match the picture they have in mind. Its really difficult admitting time and time again that you can't do it on your own. With each time we admit our sin and guilt, don't we all hope in some small way that we can fix it by ourselves?

Perhaps this "burden" is a sort of blessing. It reminds me of who I am, and humbles me to the fact that we do need to be constantly confessing our sins. It also reminds me that I am no better than any other person in the way I live my life.

So why is this so difficult for me?... this confessing thing? Pride and confusion. It's a vicious cycle really. I know what I should be doing, yet... there is something binding me up, something that calls me to question all that I grew up "knowing"... This is nothing new for me. In fact, this "questioning" phase of my life has been going on for a while, and its been difficult finding someone I can respect in opinion in order to help me through.

Well, perhaps I have thoroughly confused you with whatever I just said. I don't even know, and to be honest, I don't think it was very well thought out... However, sometimes rambling just helps to organize those thoughts later in life.

Until next time, "Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."